New cryptoculture.info Discord Mindful Message! 10.24.24

Rise & Grind

So #1 Emotional Overreaction and #4 Assuming Negative Intent are really big obstacles for me on my journey. For me I feel they go hand and hand. My lack of trust puts me in a pattern of assuming negative intent from others. Which then puts me in the pattern of emotional overreaction.

I was even discussing Agreement 2 with a friend who I feel is going through a dark night of the soul moment. I know he will have a huge breakthrough once he gets the light he needs to pull himself out of this dark moment in life. My intentions today is to look deeper into emotional overreaction and assuming negative intent, to gain perspective to help us both break this cycle. Because none of us (you included) will be left alone on our journey.

The challenge is once we fall into one pattern, it often triggers others. If we assume negative intent, we’re more likely to overreact emotionally, which in turn confirms our negative assumptions about the situation. This keeps us stuck in a loop where we take things personally, feel hurt, and reinforce the belief that people are intentionally harming us, even when they aren’t. The emotional reactivity makes it hard to see clearly, and we end up stuck in a cycle of self-imposed suffering.

Here’s some examples of patterns reinforcoy each other, creating a vicious cycle that keeps us stuck in taking things personally.

Feedback Loop

Let’s say we get feedback from a colleague at work. Immediately, we feel emotionally hurt (emotional overreaction), thinking, “Why would they say that? Am I not good at this job?” Instead of seeing it as constructive, we assume negative intent, thinking, “They must be trying to undermine me or make me look bad.” This assumption fuels the overreaction, and suddenly, we’re upset not only by the feedback but by the story we’ve created about their motives.

Healing: To break this pattern, first recognize the emotional overreaction and practice self-regulation. Breathe deeply, step away, or reflect before responding. Then, check the assumption by asking, “Is there another possible explanation for why this person gave me feedback?” Challenge the thought that they have negative intent by considering that they might be trying to help, not harm.

Misinterpreting Silence

Say a friend doesn’t respond to our texts or cancels plans. We might immediately feel rejected or unimportant (emotional overreaction), thinking, “Why don’t they care anymore?” This emotional reaction then spirals into assuming negative intent: “They must be mad at me or avoiding me because I did something wrong.” We may even retaliate with coldness or distance, reinforcing the disconnect and causing unnecessary drama.

Healing: Catch the overreaction early by practicing emotional awareness—ask ourselves, “Am I reacting to the situation or to my fear of rejection?” Then, before assuming negative intent, consider other possibilities: “Maybe they’re just busy, or they’re going through something.” Instead of withdrawing or reacting defensively, we can reach out with a genuine message, checking in on them without projecting our fears.

Breaking the Cycle:

– Awareness: Recognize when we’re overreacting or assuming negative intent. This is the first step to breaking the loop.

– Challenge Assumptions: Ask ourselves, “What else could be going on?” Shift focus from “me, me, me” to the other person’s perspective.

– Self-Compassion: Give ourselves permission to feel, but also remind ourselves not to take everything personally. Not everything revolves around us.

– Empathy: Instead of assuming someone is out to get us, consider they might be dealing with their own issues. This reduces emotional intensity and promotes healthier interactions.

By practicing these habits, we can slowly unravel the connection between these patterns and prevent them from dragging us into cycles of emotional suffering.

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